Pandit Ji - at an IAS Interview

Once a bright intelligent young man went for IAS (Indian Civil Services) Interview. He was asked- 

Question 1 - When did India get Independence?
He answered- The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947.

Question 2- Who were the persons, who played important role in this fight for independence?
Answer- There are many people, who were involved and contributed to this. If I give a name, it will b injustice to others.

Question 3- Do you think corruption is the greatest enemy of the country?
Answer- A committee is investigating in this matter. I can give a correct reply to this only after seeing the report.

The interview board was impressed by his original ideas. They asked him to wait outside, but also advised him not to reveal the questions, as they may ask the same questions to other candidates also.

When the young man went out of the room, a Pandit inquired about the questions asked. The young man said that he had promised the interview board not to disclose the questions.

But the pandit found a way out. "Tell me the answers you gave"

The young man thought it to be okay, as he was not going back on his words of "not disclosing the QUESTIONS"

When Pandit went in for the interview, this is what happened.

Question 1- Whats your date of birth?
Pandit- The efforts started long back, but could succeed in 1947.

Interviewers got confused..they asked next question.

Question 2-  What is your father's name?
Pandit- There are many people, who were involved and contributed in this. If I give a name, it will be injustice to others.

The board members were shocked at the reply...they said -

Question 3- Are you mad?
Pandit answered- A committee is investigating in this matter. I can give correct reply to this only after seeing the report. :-) 

Sharma Ji - Marwa rahe ho :-)

Sharma Ji Khatiya Khareed Ke ghar ja rahe the.

Gupta Ji - Kitne Ki Laaye?
Sharma Ji - Rs.800 ki
Gupta Ji - Marwa aaye gaand? Rs.600 mein to Mandir k paas mil jaati.

Thoda aage, Gopi- Kitne Ki Laaye?
Sharma Ji - Rs.600 ki
Gopi - Marwa aaye? Rs.400 ki to Meena Bazaar mein mil jaati.

Fir aage, Verma Ji - Sharma Ji, kahan se aa rahe ho?
Sharma Ji - Gaand Marwa ke.
Verma Ji - Acha, Khatiya bhi khud ki lekar gaye the???????

Indian Jokes- Cool dudes and their Intelligence!

Our Baniya, Topi Gupta invested Rs.3 lacs in a business and suffered huge loss.
Does anyone know what the business was?
He opened a Book Shop in the colony of Baniyas!!




Gopi Sharma stands every evening below a tubelight with his mouth open.
WHY?
Because doctor advised him, "Todays dinner should be LIGHT".




Topi Gupta, a professor, asked plumber to visit his college.
WHY?
Because he wanted to get QUESTION PAPER LEAKAGE checked.




Gopi sharma to his servant,"Go and water the plants."
Servant said,"U idiot Its already raining."
Gopi sharma, "So what, take and umbrella and go."




Topi comes back to his car in the parking lot and found a note saying,"Parking FINE".
He wrote a note and stuck it to a pole,"Thanks for the Compliment".

Gopi- the Brahmin, Topi- the Baniya !

Shopkeeper - "There is no free gift with this oil bottle"
Gopi Sharma - "U cheat, it is written on the bottle- cholesterol free"




Topi Gupta to a girl:"I want to marry you"
Girl: "But I am 2 years elder to you"
Topi: "No problem then, I will marry you after 2 years".




Photographer Gopi was focusing his camera on a dead body's face in a funeral. 
Suddenly all relatives started beating him.
Why????
He said,"SMILE PLEASE".




Topi Gupta, our baniya, gets ready, wears tie, coat and goes out.
Everyday he climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
A man asked him why he does so.
Baniya said- "I have been promoted as Branch Manager".




Gopi sharma goes to a party.
He introduces himself - I pandit, she panditain, the boy my kid and the girl my Kidney.

GOPI, TOPI- Baby, Goat, Proposal, Psychotherapist, Breaking News!!

Gopi cries loudly outside the hospital.
Topi asked,"Why are you crying?"
Gopi replied, "My wife had a baby after 20 years......................that too............... SOOOOOOO SMALL!!"


Topi was riding on a goat and roaming around.
Gopi said,"Police will catch you."
Topi,"Why?"
Gopi,"You are not wearing a helmet."
Topi,"Cant you see its a 4 wheeler!!"




One day a girl proposed Gopi Sharma and he denied and said that in our family, we marry only our relatives.
My mom married my dad!
My brother married my sister-in-law!
My uncle married my aunt!!.. and so on.
So please excuse me.


Dr. Singh, the psychotherapist, wanted a "Sign Board" to be painted infront of his clinic.
Our Baniya painter Topi Gupta painted,"Dr Singh Psycho The Rapist"




Breaking News!!
A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard
Gopi, Topi with many more pandits and baniyas have so far found 50 bodies and are still..... DIGGING FOR MORE.

Cool Indian dudes - Gopi & Topi !

Gopi Sharma, with both red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.." 
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" 
Gopi - "The scoundrel called back."




Gopi and Topi at a bar.
Topi Gupta noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. 
Bartender : "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian!" 
Topi : "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get them all" 
....and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he says. 
"Honey where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"




Gopi sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a person standing by as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on. 
Gopi : What do they get from that? 
Bystander : The winner will get a prize 
Gopi : Then why are the others running?! 




Topi was in a nightclub in New Delhi, dancing with a beautiful woman. 
He whispered into her ear, "I love you." 
She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three." 




A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. 
He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Gopi Sharma working feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door. 
As the customer watched from the passenger`s side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. 
"Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!" "I know," answered Gopi- "I already got that side." 

Laughter is the Best Medicine!

Girlfriend asked Gopi Sharma -  
Gopi Sweetheart, if we get engaged will you give me a ring? 
Gopi replied, "Sure darling, What's your phone number?" 

Once Topi Gupta, the doctor, met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard you are dead."
The friend smiled and said, "But you see I'm alive." 
Impossible, said Topi. "The man who told me is much more reliable than you." 

Dr. Topi Gupta to his patient - "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." 

Gopi Sharma proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. 
He sets off to the jungle and disappears. 
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. 
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and again barefeet!"

Gopi and Topi were boasting of their parents achievements to each other


Gopi : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' 
Topi : 'Yes, I have' 
Gopi : 'Well, my father dug it.' 


Topi : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' 
Gopi : 'Yes, I have.' 
Topi : 'Well, my father killed it.'